Wannabe Porn Stars

I receive hundreds of wannabe porn stars emailing me pictures of their cocks (without even adding a picture of their body or face). And most of the ones that do are 50-something kebab shop owners, by the look of them. All wanting to star in big breast video.

Anyway, after whittling down the motley crew of unlikelies to a few hand-picked guys and dodging the battered egos of the rejected masses, I book them to appear in a scene, wanking in the background.

One of the best ways to get a load of guys auditioned is to shoot a bukkake scene, where the girl sucks off six or seven guys at once and then they come on her face.
There are always guys who cop out at the last minute.

The guys that do turn up are all pretty nervous as it is understandably embarrassing to fai to perform in front of camera I shot one such bukkake shoot when I first started which proved to be a complete farce.

The location was Victorian and the drainage system was a little bit dodgy. When I arrived to shoot it absolutely stank of sewage.

I just had to wing it and apologise to crew and performers for the shit stinking room.
Then the model, who shad remain nameless to protect her pride, turned up and had her, put on a little bit of weight since the last time I'd shot her.

I’M wonder what the new guys would think, because they were young and everyone expects to be banging Jenna Jameson when they audition. So I made sure she got in make-up pretty sharpish. Eventually only three of the seven guys turned up. Luckily I had taken the precaution of hiring a pro guy to star in it too, just in case. Oh wed, I thought, it may not be a bukkake scene, but we can get a decent mufti blow job scene out of it. The guys looked OK, but not as good as their photos which was disappointing. What the hell, we were just going to have to wing it, I thought. I apologised about the stink of shit and they didn’t seem to mind. That is, however, until my assistant pointed out two of them had run away.

Part of me couldn’t blame them as the scene was looking less and less sexy by the minute. What was meant to be a full-on luscious cockfest was looking more like one of those Japanese endurance game shows. Thankfully, though, the one remaining pom star and the one Russian were still well up for it and I got my scene. The girl acted pretty dirty, which suited the location. It nevertheless goes down as one of the less successful shoots I have ever done.

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