Milf Woman and Her Family

I'm a 36-year-old woman who considers herself quite well put together — lovely permed blonde hair, tit-job 34Ds and a bit of the old Botox. I buy all my clothes at Top Shop and people say I could be half my age! But my husband is a complete cunt and never makes an effort. Say we go out for a meal, I'll be dolled up like a teenage slut and he looks like a tramp from the 1970s. And he never wants to shag me, no matter how many pairs of crotchless knickers I buy.

So in a superhuman bit of effort on my part, I was waiting for him to come home from work in my latest leather and zips crotchless knix and both my boobs covered in his favourite food — custard. His face went bright red when he saw me and I demanded he "lick them clean". Then I saw why. Behind him stood this dog-turd of a woman in a dress that looked like an old potato sack."I'm leaving you," he said. Then he introduced me to the ugly bint! He doesn't know what side of the bread is buttered, does he?

Then my son phone me and told me this. He said Mum I Caught my bird shagging the landlord of my local pub last week. I got home from work early and heard moaning coming from my bedroom. I couldn't believe my eyes as I watched this guy, who is in his late 50s, fucking the crap out of my girlfriend, who is a tasty little 24-year-old blonde. I'm 27.

I watched as he groped her tits and did her from behind. At one point he took her up the arse. They finished their session with a messy blowjob. I've seen him about it since and he said I can have free ale if I let him fuck her. I'm tempted as I really enjoy having a few pints in my local. He said he loves her pert breasts.

At least my daughter has some good news on the sex front. She told me the following story when I met her in a pub in Islington.

When I started going out with my latest fella he wasn't Into spanking at all. I asked him to spank me on our first night together but he was so shocked I thought he was a real prude. But slowly, over a number of weeks, I got him used to the idea. After a month or two he became a real pro, Instinctively knowing when I wanted him to slap my arse to really get me going in the sack. But I must have been too good a teacher because my fella Is now obsessed with belting my bum.

It's something I like every once in a while when I'm revved up and having rough rough sex. I really like it when I'm being taken from behind because doggy-style sex lends itself so well. But he spanks me every time we go to bed together. I've tried telling him I don't want it, but he thinks I'm Joking for some reason and says: "You know you want It."