Self-pleasure Shock

I’ve recently discovered that my husband has started masturbating on his own. We’ve been married for five years and I know he’s never done it before. I came home from work one night (I work shifts) and caught him in the lounge, watching a hardcore sex video and stroking his cock. I was so shocked at the sight, and I just went mad. He tells me it doesn’t mean anything, but I’m devastated.

I assume from the tone of your letter that you don’t masturbate yourself, in which case you are definitely missing out. Mas¬turbation is the best way for both men and women to get to know their own bodies and their own orgasms. It is completely natural, it won’t make you go blind and, far from being destructive, it can even be used to enhance your sex life. Try to become more re/axed with the idea of self-exploration, and you might find it a turn-on. After all, a lot of couples masturbate in front of each other because they know their partner gets a thrill from watching them. It is also a great way to pick up techniques that work!

Being open-minded sexually with each other can only open up new areas which will bring you both pleasure. Your husband may well have a higher sex drive than you and may require being stimulated more often, and he could have been masturbating on his own throughout your marriage, despite what you think, as it is one of the classic ways in which couples who have mis¬matched levels of sexual desire can keep a satisfying status quo. If you want sex more frequently, it sounds like he may only need you to let him know.